Bedrest = Think Time

I've had alot on my mind lately as to our everyday life. I'm feeling like I'm in the middle of no where with no purpose. A lot of my melancholy thoughts are probably due to being pregnant but the thoughts are still there. I feel alone. Different well-meaning people have asked what I'm going to do when this next little gal comes into our world and I seriously don't know! I have no family out here and my wonderful, hard working hubby only has so much time he can take off. I have a few friends I know will help when the baby comes but they have little ones themselves that need caring for. I know God has a perfect plan all worked out and I need to trust Him more. It's just hard! I'm sitting here, supposed to be resting, while Paul is giving the girls their baths and getting them ready for bed. It's always been a chore but right now I'm missing it. There's so much that needs done...laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. I guess I should be more thankful for the time relax and do nothing. Today I was more than ever excited to be able to get Katrin off the bus. She is such a big help to me. Just tonight, she wanted to do the dishes (something she has never done before) and she swept the kitchen floor. I can't say that it is done the way Mama would do it but it's been done. Kallie doesn't understand why Mama can't get up from the chair. How do you make a 2 year old understand? I feel like God is teaching me, once again, to lean hard on Him and depend on Him to take care of us. I just wish it were easier. Anyway, this is my unedited version of how I'm feeling right now....